The positive side of being sick (immobilized at home or in a clinic) is that you have time to converse with God, to remember, to think about situations and circumstances of your life. In fact, for me, this was positive because it prevented me from focusing on my “mountain” (disease) laying in my way.
During these moments of reflection, something struck me about my heart and desires . John Eldredge describes it well in his book “the treasures of the heart”: “Taking our heart in the journey of life is the most important mission of our existence, but also the most difficult.” It all depends on what we do with our desire. Life offers countless reasons and occasions to give up on one’s desire.
I suddenly realize that this is what happened to me for some times due to unjust, unpleasant, harsh, incomprehensible and illogical situations … Despite all my efforts, I am stuck in negative thoughts that slowly suffocate me and I even ended up losing my heart, losing sight of my desires, my passion …
So I try to be strong, I continue my life without asking too many questions, but the worst is that now, I want to “keep my heart more than anything …” (Proverbs 4: 23). After taking a few arrows, would I dare to desire? Then, without realizing it, I closed my heart to build relationships, to dare, to dream … because I do not want to open my heart, only to experience more grief .
Finally, to borrow Eldredge words: I decided to put as much distance as possible between me and my desires. It is both a logical and tragic act. The tragedy is multiplied when the suicide of the soul is committed, believing that this is precisely what Christianity recommends .
But when God decides to take action, to insist and reverse this terrible wrong way of thinking, your heart is completely exposed and often ugly to look at. You see, friends, God’s purpose for me as his child is to always take care of my character, my heart, to revive my desire and passion for him to look beyond the mountain (hurt , frustration, failure, …) that stands between me and where He wants to lead me. Unlike me, God does not focus on the circumstances of my life (though He is with me all the way), but He uses them to train me for a perfect goal: to provide a better future that will glorify Him and for my own good.
I finally understood that whatever I went through: right or wrong, pleasant or unpleasant, God will always brings out something wonderful, extraordinary so that my heart, my character looks more and more like Christ’. The sad part will be not realizing that and keep on weeping and feeling sorry for myself, all the while seeking the reason for what paralyses me.
I like Job. He wanted to know the reason for all his misfortunes, but instead of giving him answers, God bombarded Job with issues beyond his understanding and finally blessed him beyond his expectations (Job chap. 38 to chap. 41) Result: Job meets and knows God personally. (Job 42)
“ My brothers and sisters, you will have many kinds of trouble. But this gives you a reason to be very happy. You know that when your faith is tested, you learn to be patient in suffering. If you let that patience work in you, the end result will be good. You will be mature and complete. You will be all that God wants you to be.” James 1:2-4 ERV
“He who loves is patient, can wait, his heart is wide open to others. He is helpful, full of goodness and kindness, he seeks to be constructive to others.
True love is not possessive, it is not selfish, it is free from envy, it does not know jealousy.
When you love, you do not value yourself, you do not act presumptuously. Whoever acts with pride is not inspired by love.
Love is also honest and tactful. Love is polite and avoid to hurt or offend others, it is not disdainful.
Love does not act lightly or commits indecent acts.
Love does not seek its own interest or insists on its rights.
Love is not irritable, it is not susceptible.
When we love, we do not meditate evil against others and we do not suspect it into them. If wronged, we do not keep grudges. Love does not remember wrongs done against it.
Love is never happy when others do wrong, but it is always happy with the truth. Love never gives up on people.
It never stops trusting, never loses hope, and never quits. Love suffers, endures and forgives others.
Love will not end … “
The Bible, New Testament, The First Epistle of Paul to the Corinthians, chapter 13, verses 4-8
My God is so good
He takes good care of me
This God so faithful, do you know he cares about you?
He would love to help you in your difficulties
You must come to Him as you are.
God knows so well, what seems heavy,
what hurt you, disturb you every day
He knows your need, your fear of tomorrow
With my God, you know, everything will be fine!
He lives forever, He’s the almighty God
He will answer you, just come to Him
When everything seems dark, sad and desperate
Do you know that up there, you are not forgotten.
My God will help you, he will guide your steps
If you want to walk, submit to his law
So do not fear, you can count on Him
He will do everything he promised.
With my God, you know, everything will be fine!